haven’t blogged in awhile. guess cause i haven’t been feeling like it? right. oxymoron sentence. well, all is smooth sailing now in life, great friends, family, girlfriend.

what’s in store for me in the next few years? thats the same question that’s been on the back of my mind for awhile now. o well. wherever he leads me to, il follow.

okay. before you get me wrong, its not THAT kind of threesome im talking about. so all you pervs who’ve landed here because you typed in “threesome” into “Google”, please click the “x” button and go away. =)

so what kind of threesome am i talking about then? well it does involve 3 people. lets see, theres me, mich and God. (what were you thinking? =) )

life’s been really great this few months. it still does smack me right in the face with a couple of downs, but im surviving them pretty well. im kinda living my life in a certain kinda “zen” like nature now. everything is balanced. everything is sorted out (or getting sorted out).

in other words, im happy.

im finally done i think.
with lectures and exams all behind me.
done with boring tutorials (yes… theres a reason why I slept sooo much in class)
done with yucky canteen food.

as i take the leap into life,
as much as i can plan and plan,
i really wonder what exciting challenges await me.

will i be the next nobel prize nominee?
will i be the next grammy award winner?
or will i just be the next person who comes by and touches your heart?

whatever the future holds, im ready to take that leap i guess.
cos someone once said,

“being a winner is not how hard you can hit, but how hard you can get hit over and over and still have the strength to stand up after that!”

brilliant isn’t it? a lesson about life in a movie.

well the worsts not over yet.
still have to pass my jap exam before i can join the ranks of those before me.
those who don the blue cape and look absolutely smart.
professing to the world, that im coming to make my mark.

watch out world, here i come!

to the one i call my little one,
im really sorry for all the things ive done.
to the one i call my little one,
you really didn’t deserve any of this, to be exact, none.

im sorry i did those things behind,
im sorry i betrayed you.
im sorry i didn’t stand in your shoes,
im sorry, i really am.

if only time could be undone, i’d go back to the day i was one.
i’d whisper in his ear so softly and gently,
telling him of all things to be done.

“love her with all your heart mind and soul,
hold on to her with all your might.
be daring with her, be bold you must.
look at her with conviction,
and then gently, tell her that we are one.

because anyone else doesn’t matter to you,
no one else will.
don’t waste your time searching high and low,
because from 13, you will know.”

don’t give up faith and hope.
don’t lose sight of what we have.
keep your head up again i say,
because world, here we come.

i don’t want us to turn into monsters. i don’t want to bring out the worst in us. its tough to forgive and even tougher to forget. im thankful for you, yesterday, today, tomorrow. hold my hand and walk with me, because im not letting go. i love you truly, my little one.

and so, there they were, lying in bed. two tired bodies side by side. both sweating and heaving hard because of the blistering heat. the heat of the quarrel. the quarrel that nobody knew how it started, and no one knew what it was about. it was just about winning. he had to have his way and she hers. so although they were barely 2 inches apart, their souls were on opposite ends of the earth. he breathing fire and she ice. the air was heavy making it hard to breathe. he got up, fumbled in the dark and made his way toward the other end of the room. he felt for the switch and hit the button. and just like magic the air condition came on. the soft purring of the machine and cool gentle breeze of air cooled them down. just like that. they were inseparable.

and in that instant he grabbed her in his arms and pulled her close, burying his face in her chest. and in that instant he felt like nothing could tear them apart. not the violent storms, the huge gale or the roaring thunder could shut the words out. the words which rang so clearly in his head. “i cant live without you… i cant live without you…” they just repeated themselves like monks chanting the mantra. what she was thinking about he didnt know. all he knew was that he had to be man enough to keep on loving her.

what a crazy thing i did tonight, a whim, a thought, then a reality. the blast of the cool night air. the sound of my spinning wheels. endless tarmac stretching out in front of me. i thought my journey would never end. pedal pedal pedal i keep telling myself. youre almost there i think out aloud. and as i turned the corner, there you were, you ugly building. lab at 11pm. you’ve gotta be kidding.

in and out of the lab in a jiffy, likened to a little quickie. i got onto her again, this time  thinking, how did i end up talking myself into this. bleh. i thought of riding the mrt home. but the sheer thought of me holding onto my bike, clutching the railings, riding the NEL, inviting obnoxious stares, just told me to pedal pedal pedal.

down the road i went, Adam, Lornie and finally you. yes. you. thanks for supper. thanks for the company. thanks for the sweet evening, albeit a simple meal. youre really a sweetheart, a godsend.

aching back, tired neck, sleepy body. out.

for those of you who still dont get what im saying… i did the craziest thing tonight. i cycled all the way to school and back. a whopping 50km. bah. makes me wonder how those guys do a Round Island trip. makes me weak in the knees just thinking about it. 

swish swash swish swash. the sound of the calm sea against the hull of our boat. chug chug chug chug, the sound of the engine pulling all of us along. whistle whistle blow blow, the gentle caress of the passing wind. my weekend couldn’t have been more perfect!

and there you were right beside me, from dusk till dawn, from morning to evening. and there you were right beside me, swimming, eating, sun-bathing. the little episode with the hornet, the little laughs we had in the pool, the short lovely stroll in the evening. thanks baby, thanks for still walking with me.

pics coming up very soon!

you sly evil one, i scorn the way you turn and hide.
you pull others apart, you put thoughts where they shouldn’t be.
you cause people to think with distrust
you cause people to hurt and cry
o you silent one, how you stabbed me in the back

sometimes, people can be so busy during the day that they forget. they forget about everything else other than what’s in front of them. sometimes you might call them at the wrong time, especially when they’re mixing this and that. but that doesn’t mean they dont think of you, it just means that theyre busy. so dont jump to conclusions my friend, that the world loves you any less. because it really hurts inside, when you fight with me because of that.

lovers we are and thats what we’ll always be. dont turn you back on me now, dont leave me alone behind. ive given you all of my love my dear, please please trust me with your heart.

just thought i’d write a short post today regarding what i saw which i thought was absolutely sweet. it put a smile on my face, and it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. i saw this 2 mornings ago just as i was getting back home.

the car rolled to a stop right in front the gate of the school. the small boy rubbed his tired eyes and let out a long sigh. he unbuckled his seat beat and leaned forward. his father gently put his hand on his son’s outstretched forehead giving him a tiny pat. “off you go to school now son, i’ll always be right behind you.” the small boy smiled his cutest and out of the car he went. the father then did a u-turn and off he went.

lucky kid.

that made me think of my days when i was younger, when my dad would get up at 620am every morning just to send me and my younger brother to school. how we didn’t manage to see it then, that despite the fact that he always worked late nights, my dad never failed to drag himself out of bed to get us to school.

so i guess, in front of all who still come by (I think my dad occasionally pops by too), i just want to say “thanks dad, you rock.”

as i sit in silence as i close my eyes
i let the sound of falling rain bring up memories of you
i got you in december
short tiny beautiful you
il hold you till forever
fat or ugly, il still stay true
i like the way we party
i like the way we live
most of all i like the way i catch myself when im thinking of you

just thought id do a quick post to let you know that despite the lack of black and white, im still here, thinking of you. =) dont worry my silly hobbit, im still your best friend-lover.

to angel and shijia, never knew you guys still came by. never knew anyone still came by. thanks for all your silent support =) jeremy-san, ganbatte ne!